Not Easy

I'm a little behind, on everything, story of my life. It's been a rough few weeks around here. Can we all agree that being a mom is sometimes kind of a brutal job? Lately I feel like all I'm doing is correcting behavior, scolding behavior, loosing my temper about behavior I've already corrected and scolded, and repeat. I find myself researching parenting books that will make me a more patient mom, and then praying my kids never remember this and only the fun mom that goes to the zoo and park and chases and lets them eat popcorn in my bed.

So basically everything is suffering, My house is a mess, I'm crabby, it's cold, and there's Halloween candy taunting me from the basement freezer.

We've completed week 5 and 6, and now in the home stretch. I can see myself "sleeping in" on a Saturday again. The classes have been particularly difficult the last few weeks. A lot of focus on cardio and then a switch to intense strength training. I've had to really focus on why I'm there otherwise it would be easy for me to skip the classes.

Last week I was able to run a mile without stopping. I can honestly say I've never done that. I started off just thinking I'd do my usual 3 minute run 1 minute walk, but after 3 minutes I felt fine so I thought i'd go 5 minutes, then I was still fine. I tried a half mile and was still feeling good so I pushed it to a mile and was able to do it and even a little past. It felt amazing! I was so excited to see that all the hard work was working.

I love instant gratification so at times this process can be frustrating because I just want to be a success. I want to lift 10 lbs for an hour and then have amazing biceps at the end of the night. I want to do the tricep dips and then have my arm flaps magically disappear. I want to eat the salad and fit into my size 6 jeans immediately following. It's the same with the kids, I want to tell them to stop licking me and then never have to tell them again, or to not run in the parking lot and then never have to chase them screaming "you could die" ever again.

I've had to constantly remind myself that all of this is a journey. There is no one that is at their physical peak of health and vitality and doesn't have to work at it everyday. Same with parenting, it is constant work. All of it though, is so much better when done with a village, The encouragement from the women in class both with the workouts and the solidarity of motherhood is actually my favorite part of all this.

So on we go, telling myself I am so much stronger than I give myself credit for. I'm not referring to the workouts or parenting actually, I'm referring to the gallon size bag of butterfingers in the freezer that I WILL NOT EAT!